i said no.
Today I told a client no. I got the courage after 2 people in the kindest way turned me down for something. I knew it wasn’t about me, it was about the work I was asking of them. I was in shock how little their no affected me. In the past I would have immediately thought “they hate me, what I am trying to do is dumb, I suck.”
Not this time. And I know why. If you come from a place of true understanding of what is asked of you, and if you align with your true self to see if you can do it, sometimes the answer is no. We choose yes and no all the time even with inaction. If you are not responding to that party invite, while you are making someone wait for that answer, you already know that you don’t want to do it.
So I propose we evaluate everything immediately based on gut instinct. The invite, the call, the task comes in—decide right away if you want to do it. You know why? Because you already know when you are reading it if it’s calling you or not. You are just being a coward to listen to your gut. You are worried you are going to hurt feelings. The funny thing is… my feelings were not hurt today. Two different people said no. And I could not help but honor their response and say “I get it, thank you for your quick reply.”
I kinda already forgot these events occurred and to be frank, that is the point. If you make a decision on the spot because you listen to your inner voice, you will be able to move on with your day. If you chew on it all day, the fact will not change that you will not want to do x y or z. Don’t lie, don’t fabricate a reason. Say you cannot do something and leave it at that. Acknowledge the offer, thank them for the opportunity, move on.
It’s fucking refreshing.
So when I said no to my client I came from a place to honesty, I would not be able to fit her into my schedule. Her timeline was too tight, and I would have not been able to give her proper attention. And that’s what I said. And you know what? She thanked me. For being honest! So my friend, I am here to tell you, all you gotta do is compassionately expand your vocabulary to say you cannot do something if it doesn’t align with you.
Try it!